Lessons I've Learned From the Life of My Son IV

Easter 2011

Sunday morning, December 2, 2012. I woke up that morning thinking about my mom and dad. It was the two year anniversary of my brothers passing and I knew I needed to call them sometime that day. My mom and I both had two girls and a boy, only her son was born first and mine had been the baby. We both had lost our sons within 10 months of each other, so we had walked the road of grief together. My brother Monte had suffered from cancer and went home at age 49. Too Soon.

Me and my Brother Monte

Monte had been restless on that last night and slipped out of bed onto the floor. My dad had picked him up and laid him back in bed. As he did, my brother passed on to heaven. When dad told us about it, Thomas said, "Monte went to sleep in his earthly father's arms and woke up in his heavenly Father's arms!" No truer words have been spoken. So my mind was filled with thoughts of loved ones and heaven as I went into my quiet time on that Sunday morning. I was reading a daily devotional by Billy Graham that year. As the Lord would have it, on this particular day the scriptures and reading were all about heaven! God just filled up my heart through His Word and Spirit.

All of the sudden, I remembered I had had a dream the night before! In the middle of the night I had gotten up for a moment and as I laid back down and closed my eyes, there was a bright light shining down on me. I remember thinking, how can it be so bright in here when my eyes are closed and it's still dark outside?!

Buck, 2010

As I looked up into the light, there was Buck, waaaay up there, smiling down at me. He was standing like he used to at first base with his hands on his knees. He looked just like a picture I had taken of him wearing two of his favorite things. His "Sherman Mountain Boy's hat" (as he called it) and his baseball cleats. The "Sherms" as we affectionately called them were Buck's favorite singing group. He would crank their CD in the front yard while playing catch. Buck would often sing the words to his favorite song they sang, "...don't you wanna be a servant of the good God Almighty, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?..."  So here he was looking down at me with that huge grin. Then he cupped his hands over his mouth and hollered, "Mom! Hurry! Hurry up and come! It's Awesome! Your gonna LOVE it!" All I could do was smile back up at him and that was it.... Wow. Thank You Lord for reminding me of the dream and for giving me that glimpse into eternity!! Truly heaven was going to be Awesome, cause if Buck said so, it definitely was!!

It was about time to get ready to go, but I had to call mom and dad first and share my devotion and the dream. What a Blessing! On the way to church I told Thomas, "If Pastor preaches about heaven, I'm just going to be raptured today!" Wouldn't you know it?! His text was from 1 Corinthians 15 which is about believers rising from the dead. "Oh death where is thy sting, oh grave where is your victory?" I was definitely ready for the rapture then! After we took communion I couldn't hold it in any longer. I asked Pastor if I could share something and I told the congregation about my dream. What rejoicing! We got it, son. #heavenisawesome

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Mother's Day weekend 2008. I was speaking in El Dorado, Ar., and our whole family went. We arrived in town on Saturday night and went out to eat with friends. They gave us our choice of where to go, but we didn't care where. They suggested a new place in town, a Cajun restaurant. It was awesome and so was the visit. Sunday lunch the next day there was some debate about where to go because probably every restaurant would be packed. Someone suggested a new Cajun restaurant?! They didn't know we had been there the night before, but again, it didn't matter to us.

When we got in the car, Our oldest daughter, Jenel, gave Buck some well-needed instructions. (She was a Sophomore and Buck was in Kindergarten.) "Now Buck, we are going to the same restaurant that we went to last night, but it's ok! When we get there don't say, 'We ate here last night! I had this to eat already!'" She nicely encouraged him that it was no big deal. We didn't want to make the people feel bad who were taking us out! I can still see Buck as we stepped into the restaurant. He very obviously looked alllll around, while nodding his head up and down, and in a loud, over exaggerated voice (emphasizing every word) he declared, "This is a nice restaurant!!" As if he had never been there before! It was very hard to hold in the laughter! #alwaysbegracious

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Buck with  his two sisters, Jenel & Lexa

One week before the accident, Lexa asked Buck if he would come to Elevate and quote some Bible verses and answer JBQ (Junior Bible Quiz) questions for the students. Elevate was a Christian club that met during lunch once a week. Anyone could attend of course, "Christian" or not.  Buck was excited about getting out of class for an hour and he did love JBQ! He started getting nervous though when the room began to fill up. A lot of students showed up that day and many of them were big football players. Buck was getting nervous. "Lex, I don't think I can do this!"  Lexa was ready with the pep talk! "Come on Buck, it's time to man up and do something for God!" He had his head down on the table, "I don't know if I can do it!" Lexa knew he could be bribed. "Buck, I'll give you a Dr. Pepper and all the pizza you can eat!" "I'll do it!" Buck quickly replied. #dohardthings

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Beautiful picture painted by our friend,
Caitlyn Robillard, 2016

I remember a few months after the wreck taking a little "poll" on Facebook. "If you had a canvas with a beautiful scene of heaven on it, what would the caption be?" I got several good responses. There were encouraging phrases posted that included words like, Faith, Hope, and Joy. A lot of scripture verses were also suggested. One day I was still thinking on it when I asked Thomas. "What would you  put on there, Babe?" He thought for just a moment and then said, "Two words, We Win!" That's right Babe. No matter what, We Win! We are winners in Christ. That was truly the Best suggestion ever!

I must say how Thomas' words impacted me! We were in a very low season, yet without hesitation he reminded me of our place in Christ. I recall that conversation with a smile for many reasons, not the least of which is that he gave me a classic "man answer". He summed up the end of our whole life's struggles in just two words. Straight to the point, this is the bottom line! I LOVED it! #wewin

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present, nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

~Bucks last JBQ verses to memorize.